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May 23 On The Road Again"Everything in the universe has rhythm. Everything dances."-Maya Angelou
I've been traveling since March. I took Shay to New Orleans to ride in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I only had time to post some photos before flying to New Orleans again in April to attend my annual family reunion. Three days after the reunion my sister and I started on our road trip to Utah and Nevada. We planned the trip after her husband died in September. Our children and grandchildren named our trip the "Thelma and Louise Tour." I've posted some of our photos.
The first few are the Grand Canyon which we visited on our way to Utah and the cliff dwellings are in Mesa Verde. The last three photos were taken in Natchitoches, the oldest settlement in the Louisiana Purchase and the location of the movie, Steel Magnolias. My son attended college in Natchitoches and it is one of the most beautiful and gracious small towns in the entire sourthern U.S. The photos of Shay were taken at a scrapbooking overnighter in Sandy, Utah. My art partner, Jo and her sister, drove in from Nevada to attend and I took Shay and my sister. Jackie had never scrapbooked before, but she loved it and stocked up on supplies before we drove back to New Orleans. I like scrapbooking, but I only do it at those overnighters.
Jackie and I drove back to New Orleans with stops in Mesa Verde, Santa Fe and Natchitoches. We had a lovely time, but I'm ready to spend some time here in SLC and I have to do more painting for our two month show at the Lost City Museum in Nevada in July and August. I'll go to Montana sometime this summer and to Malibu for my annual retreat. I plan to be more faithful to this blog and to visit all of you more often.
January 24 Live, Love, Laugh and Learn"Why wait? Life is not a dress rehearsal. Quit practicing what you're going to do and just do it. In one bold stroke you can transform today." - Philip Markins
I'd ask where all the time has gone, but I know where it went. It went into living and doing and procrastination. Every day I say to myself, "Self, you want to get something on your blog today" and Self says, "I will do it today, but first I must..." and a hundred and one necessary chores and not so necessary social exercises follow and when I have the time, I'd rather paint!
Jo and I have a two month show in July and August at Lost City Museum and a month long show at Valley of Fire in December. Those are our only two show committments this year, but they require many, many paintings and while I have a backlog from last year, I have a hundred ideas for large and small paintings. I also have a couple of committments for paintings for auctions by my charitable events this year. The most serious impediment to my taking this time to blog is that I must paint while the muse is upon me. The creative process cannot be scheduled.
We had a wonderful Christmas Reveillion. I posted the photos a couple of weeks ago. The food was great - Tomatoes Rockefeller, Crabmeat Au Gratin Soup, Shrimp Creole, Stuffed Eggplant Casserole and, of course, New Orleans Bread Pudding with Praline Sauce. Our guests went through four gallons of Crabmeat Au Gratin Soup, which was the hit of the night. The star of our yearly holiday party is always the food. They come to eat! It is a great advantage to be a native New Orleanian in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Shay and Frank left for Minnesota the day after the party and my son, Rick, arrived from Atlanta to spend Christmas with Christy and me. It was a most enjoyable week with just a grateful mom with her only son and daughter.
The International Women's Conference is just two weeks away and I'm still filling slots on Panels and my committee is still staffing Workshops. We're all staying at the conference hotel for the four days of the conference - even Shay and Frank. I thought it would be fun for them to be downtown for the four day weekend and to frolic in the hotel's indoor, heated pool.
Shay and Frank and I are heading to New Orleans for the St Patrick's Day parade the second week in March. This will be the first time they ride on our family's float. My brother, who does not like to ride, will ride with us this year because I asked him to help me with Shay and Frank. I'll have photos!
I haven't been to your blogs for some time, but I'm off now to do just that!
December 09 Hope"Real generosity toward the future consists in giving all to what is present."
-Albert Camus
I'd like to share my 2009 year end letter.
Dear Family and Friends,
My maternal grandfather has always been my favorite relative. He died in 1958, but his influence touches me today. Having lived through the Great Depression of 1929, he was, for the rest of his life, changed by that experience. He could not waste anything. He always bought what he considered essential in multiples of six. Having lost all of his savings, he never again trusted banks. He saved cash and stored it in the bottom of his armoire. He was grateful for the opportunity to "work hard" and gave the men he hired in his broom and mop factory the same opportunity. He helped anyone who needed help.
"Gramps" was a cynical Frenchman. In a very Catholic family he was anti-clerical because he refused to give respect based solely on title or position. He attended Mass only when necessary and that was to witness some rite of passage by his beloved grandchildren, yet he possessed a palpable spiritual connection. In my grandfather's world respect had to be earned by honesty and integrity. He once told me that the only thing any of us have is our "word" and we must always protect that by doing what we say we will do. "Gramps" valued education. He valued books and good writing, especially poetry. He often quoted Emily Dickinson: "...hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all." Above all, he believed in the future. He survived the Great Depression and raised his four daughters well because his heart was filled with hope.
I think of "Gramps" often these days. Despite the "national nightmare" of the past eight years and our shrinking portfolios, I am filled with hope for the future. On a cold winter day, as I cook a pot of warming chili for my grandchildren and listen to the news of their day, I feel the hope that "Gramps" must have felt as he watched the family that he guided through the Great Depression. It is my fervent hope that the values instilled in me by "Gramps" and passed on to my children will live in the minds and hearts and souls of my grandchildren and that they will pass that on to their children.
In 2009 I wish for you and yours the thing with feathers. May it perch in your soul and sing the tune without the words and never stop at all.
Love,
Betty
November 24 All Things Considered"Everything is a miracle. We just have to recognize it." -Federico Fellini
I love National Public Radio and one of their weekday shows is named "All Things Considered." My friend, Kim Williams was a featured guest on "All Things Considered" during the seventies and eighties. Kim always began her essays, "This is Kim Williams in Missoula, Montana." Kim was wise and funny and she died too young of ovarian cancer. But, "All Things Considered" is still on every weekday afternoon at 4:00 p.m.
My car radio is always tuned to NPR and on my daily jaunts to and from errands I hear some of the most amazing things. Just last week I listened to a great musical show on New Orleans "funk" as played by The Meters. The Meters are a local treasure. While very few around the world have heard of The Meters, most citizens of New Orleans know and revere them. That is one of the things I like especially about NPR; they will take you to places you have never been before and expose you to the most interesting subjects and people. Also this weekend there was a reading of an Anne LaMott tale and a rendering of "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" by the woman who read Anne's story. I ask you; where else can one be so entertained in the comfort of one's automobile, stuck in traffic on a cool Fall day in Salt Lake City, Utah?
NPR is one of my elements of hope. That's right - for all we do wrong like accepting bad government, expecting bad service from our institutions, ignoring being overcharged for basic services; we turn around and support National Public Radio and expect the very best in a world that is running out of "good" and to our surprise NPR delivers. That is certainly reason for hope.
I'm pondering a topic for my annual Christmas letter and may have found one. Why not "hope?" Hope is certainly a miracle in this world of ours. I saw it in this presidential election. After eight years of ignorance, cruelty, dishonesty, greed, perfidy, exclusion and indifference, Americans voted for "hope."
Our Thanksgiving will be filled with family, friends and a couple of "orphans." I hope that your Thanksgiving is everything you hope it will be! November 13 Passion"Passion doesn't fade. It must be suppressed!" -Rumi
I've been thinking about "passion" lately, "passion for life" that is. I've been thinking about how well it serves humanity It would be easy to become jaded and cynical after the past eight years, but for passion which inspires hope. When I think about things like this, I am usually in awe of those who went before me.
My parents and grandparents lived through two world wars and a depression of monstrous proportions. I can remember, as a small child, the grim world of "rationing" during and after World War II. I can remember that we could buy nothing without rationing "stamps." Rationing affected all commodities and most necessities. I also remember how cooperative people were and how helpful they were to one another. Because leather was rationed, folks could not buy shoes when they needed them nor could they have the holes in their worn shoes half-soled without the requisite stamps. My grandfather was a broom and mop maker and his broom straw was delivered wrapped in heavy corrugated cardboard. Every night, after dinner, neighbors would line up at our house for my grandfather to cut "insoles" from the cardboard for their hole ridden shoes. A few days later some of the men would arrive at our door with small game - rabbits, squirrels - to thank my grandfather for their warm, dry feet. Inasmuch as meat was also rationed, the small game made wonderful meals for my family. Sometimes folks would bring small parcels of coffee and this always impressed me because New Orleans is a coffee-drinking place and coffee was like gold - no one in the city had enough coffee. This sharing always impressed me as "passion." Passion for living well in the face of deprivation made a lasting impression on me.
My family was passionate about each other. Everyone showed up for every event in the lives of the other. The lives of my sisters and brother and me were filled with grandparents, great-grandparents, great aunts, great uncles, aunts, uncles, cousins (even those several times removed) and friends for births, christenings, confirmations, graduations, engagements, weddings, anniversaries, hospitalizations and funerals. Sometimes these events were far flung, so we traveled by car to Alabama, Florida and Texas. We were a busy bunch!
Which brings me to why I'm thinking about "passion." As we approach Thanksgiving, my "passion" gene kicks in and I begin to conjure ways to make these 2008 holidays memorable for my grandchildren, not to mention Christy and me. There has been a lot of "memorable" in the lives of Shay and Frank since they came to live with me and I can see their "passion" bubbling just beneath the surface. Having just taken down the Halloween wreath and decorations, Shay wants to know if it is time to hang the Thanksgiving wreath. "Yes, my darling, it is time." Who cares that we may be a little early - let's get "passionate" about Thanksgiving! And, yes, there will be a big Christmas party - this year it coincides with my 25th sobriety birthday. I'm working on the invitations and Christy, Shay, Frank and I are all working on the invitation list. Last year we had fifty folks and this year it looks like we might hit the hundred mark. And, yes, we feed them all copious amounts of New Orleans food. Indeed, we call our Christmas party "A Creole Christmas Revillion!"
Another of my family legacies is "gratitude." We were admonished to be grateful for every little blessing. We were counseled to be grateful even for adversity. Everything in our lives, we were taught, is a blessing all its own. Adversity makes us stronger, loss makes us appreciative...every disappoint carries the potential for learning a new way. So, my cyber friends, I wish you could all share our preparations for another round of holidays and the "passion" with which we attack them. Fear not, I will share them with you via post and photos.
November 04 What A Day!!!!"I believe in Liberty for all people; the space to stretch their arms and their souls; the right to breathe and the right to vote, the freedom to choose their friends, enjoy the sunshine and ride on the railroads, uncursed by color; thinking, dreaming, working, as they will in a kingdom of God and love." -W. E. B DuBois
As a college student in New Orleans, Louisiana I sat at lunch counters protesting the refusal of Woolwortth to serve black folks. I was arrested and taken to the First Pricinct police station to await my parents' arrival. Black students were locked in holding cells and I and other white students were allowed to freely mill in the office of the Princinct captain. I asked to be put in the same holding cell as the black students and was told they could not do that because State Law prohibited the mixing of races. As a young mother I marched for voting rights in support of those marching in Mississippi and Alabama. Imagine the joy of this 71 year old woman as she cast her vote this morning for Barack Obama. As a life long Democrat and the beneficiary of a family who has been dedicated to social justice, I have never been prouder of my family and my party. Win or lose, I am grateful to have lived long enough to see history made in civil rights and to have participated in it.
I've had a busy Fall and have photos to post when I return to SLC. Today, I'll watch the election returns and savor the day!
August 28 A Little of This, a Little of That"Everything is a once-in-a-lifetime experience." -Kobi Yamada
Soon summer will be officially over. I've had a very busy summer. I spent at least a third of it in New Orleans with my sister, Jackie. Jackie's husband - and my favorite brother-in-law, Henry are finally home. Henry is not strong enough for the chemotherapy that might prolong his life and is now in the hands of hospice. Because Gustav might visit New Orleans, Jackie and Henry with all the paraphenalia of the terminally ill, will head for Jackson, MS where Jackson Hospice will take over his care until the storm has passed and there is no danger to New Orleans.
Shay and Frank are back in school. Shay likes her new school and Frank will be playing on the "A" team this year in his gremlin football league.
The kitchen remodel is still in progress. The cabinets should be delivered and installed today. We are within a week or two of completion - not a minute too soon for Christy and me.
I'm in Montana. I got here on Tuesday. Coming here is not getting any easier. This was Dean's favorite spot on earth and I can feel his presence. It is bittersweet. I like feeling his presence, but I miss him terribly. Next summer I'll spend more time here. I have always liked it here - oh, not like Dean did, but I like the quiet and the deer in the yard and the bunnies and the time to do things I don't have time to do in Utah or Nevada. I'm reading a great book while I'm here, The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon. I recommend it! It is rainy and cool - mid to high sixties. Because there was enough snow this past winter and a rainy summer, there is no fire danger this Fall.
Christy and Erin and their families are on their way to join me for the Labor Day weekend. The cousins have not seen each other for an entire year and they are all excited to be together again. I too am excited to have them all together again.
I spent last week at my annual spiritual retreat at Sera Retreat House high in the hills of Malibu. We extended the retreat from five days to seven days. There were eighty of us this year and we had a wonderful time.
My family will all leave here on Monday and I'll stay a few more days then return to SLC and get ready for a big baby shower I'm giving for my friend, Meg's daughter who is expecting her first girl after two boys. We're planning on 35 women for a luncheon - I'm cooking Crab-Red Bell Pepper Soup, Tortilla Soup, Salads and four different homemade (from scratch) salad dressings and a variety of breads and, of course, we will have petit fours.
This summer after my bout with diverticulitis and a subsequent check up, we found that I have developed diabetes. No big surprise here as my grandmother, mother, aunts and one of my sisters all have it. Not the end of the world - I'll do what I have to do to be healthy.
Life is good!
June 24 Tempus Fugit"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." -Albert Einstein
I cannot believe it has been a month since I blogged. It seems like a week or two, but the calendar doesn't lie and I have been missing in action for a month!
Where did the month go? Well, I went to New Orleans for a week to help my youngest sister, Jackie, get through the difficulties of all the tests and scans her husband had to go through to find the source of the malignancy that was found on his liver. No results yet. I'll go back when he is treated. They are both doing well mentally and emotionally. They are ready to do whatever they must and take life as it comes: one day at a time.
The projects on this house go on. The main bath is finished and while I'm not thrilled with it, it is acceptable. The fact that it went way over estimate and took three weeks longer than quoted made me start questioning my contractor. The fence repair fiasco went way over budget and that caused me to get a new contractor. I prevailed upon one of our friends, who is a commercial contractor and does not do residences, and he helped me find a demolisher to take down the old deck. The demolisher came within a hundred and fifty dollars of his estimate and did a great job. We are now in the process of getting bids on the new patio and the kitchen remodel.
This is all new territory for me. Dean was my contractor. I gave him my ideas and plans and he executed them. He hired people and he worked with them. I miss Dean in ways I could not have imagined and am surprised at how much I took for granted.
I haven't been to Nevada yet and the temps there are 112 degrees. I absolutely must get there before I go to Montana in July. But, I can't leave until I get the patio and kitchen work timetables. I'm anxious to get to Montana as I have not been there since the end of July last year.
Work on the International Women's Conference is heating up. My committee - Program - is one of those that gets done long before the conference in February. We are submitting a first draft of the program booklet to the national advisory committee in the next few weeks. We are meeting with the full conference committee once a month and with our program committee a couple of times a month. Our committee is filled with old friends and it is a pleasure meeting with them. The full committee - not so much! On the one hand, I love being of service to recovering women by putting together a program that will inspire them and fill them with enthusiasm. My committee picks the speakers for this conference. On the other hand, the work of putting on a conference for 2400 hundred women takes a three year committment from the host city. I did this conference in 1996 and it was a great conference, so I know the hard work is worth it. I'm committed to another six months of conference work.
Having said all of the above, I must say I'm grateful for everything in my life - family, friends, remodel, conference, homes. I'm grateful for the fullness of life, for health and happiness and the ability to roll with the punches.
May 26 I'm Still Here"There is nothing more surprising than right now. Right now is where you always are anyway." -James Broughton
In the 1971 Stephen Sondheim/James Goldman show, Follies, Carlotta sings, "Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and, my dear, I'm still here. Plush velvet sometimes, sometimes just pretzels and beer, But I'm still here."
I'm feeling like Carlotta. I ended up hospitalized for two days with my nemesis, diverticulitis, but I'm still here. I refused to accept that I'm not bullet-proof and in my weakened condition felt I had the strength to move a fifty plus pound scrapbooking bag from the cargo hold of my Bronco and pulled all the muscles in my arms, legs and back, but I'm still here!
I'm better - much better - and have accepted the fact that my strength and stamina have not returned yet, so I'm cooking and supervising lawn service people, fence repairmen and patiently awaiting the return of my, up until now, phenomenal energy level. I'm eating right - lots of fiber and yogurt, vegetables and fruit.
Shay and Frank are preparing to leave for their annual summer in the "wilds" of Minnesota with their Dad. It will be difficult to say goodbye to my grandchildren for the summer. I will miss them! Christy and I usually adjust in a couple of weeks and then we get the opportunity to go places and do things we don't normally do with the children. Last year we spent a week in Malibu.
All this brings me to Carlotta and her wonderful song, "I'm Still Here." Flexibility and adaptability are gifts from my Mom's side of my family and I think that is why, I'm still here! Not, mind you, just existing, waiting for the next blow, but changing and adjusting and accepting life as it comes with hope and enthusiasm. My maternal grandmother had a family motto, "...what you cannot cure you must endure and as long as you must, you may as well do it with grace." My mother and aunts quoted their mother often. Whenever any of my sisters or brother or cousins or I faced disappointment or failure, our mothers gave us the old family motto. At the time, we all thought it was lame, but today we find that having faced the vagaries of life with grace, humor and acceptance, we are able to "go on" and adapt to life on life's terms and find meaning and purpose in every single drop of it.
May 09 All Is Well"Happiness is a question of changing your troubles." -Colette
I have been out of commission with a really wicked bout of diverticulitis. I had peridontal work and a tooth implant which required ingesting many antibiotics and pain killers. The medication played havoc with my digestive system and without warning I was in the throes of medical crisis. I'm recovering - feeling better.
I'm feeling well enough to fulfill my commitment to Shay to attend a two day "Memoranza." From Friday at 5:00 p.m. until Saturday at 5:00 p.m. we will scrapbook non-stop. My art partner, Jo, will drive in from Nevada and Christy's friend "La La" will join us. Christy and Frank are going to Park City for a weekend.
Shay is an awesome scrapbooker and she is looking forward to an all night session. We have a hotel room so that she may nap for a couple of hours if necessary. Yesterday I ventured out to the scrapbooking store with Shay and let her buy anything she wanted. We're packed and ready and will leave as soon as she gets home from school.
April 09 Sisters"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the gardeners who make our souls blossom." -Marcel Proust
I am one of four sisters and I've always loved having and being a sister. We are stairsteps. There is only a a year seperating each of us. When we were very young, we were dressed identically, but in different colors: pink, blue, green and yellow. That stopped when I started school, but by the time we were all in school we were again dressed identically in Catholic school uniforms. We all attended the same Catholic all-girls' schools. When I was a senior in prep school there was a "Wire" sister in every grade: freshman, sophomore, junior and senior. I was the most popular girl in school and was elected to everything, because I had sisters who would convince their classmates to vote for their "big sister."
We did not always agree on things, but because my parents allowed us the dignity of working out our differences, we got along just fine. For most of our lives we have been very close. There have been times when one or the other of us was busy with individual pursuits, but for the most part, we have "hung together" and that has been one of the constants in our lives. When we were young marrieds and raising our families, no matter what else was going on in our lives, we got together and celebrated our important days in the year so that our children - the cousins - could share closeness. Even when we could not celebrate the actual holidays together, we always set aside special days for celebration. On the weekend before Thanksgiving we gathered to open two sacks of oysters - one sack we shared for each family's individual oyster dressing and the second sack we ate that day in two forms: raw and fried for oyster po-boys. We would spend the entire day opening and cooking and eating oysters. We all celebrated Christmas together on January 6th - the Feast of the Epiphany or "Little Christmas" or Twelfth Night, depending on what you want to call it. The sisters and cousins exchanged gifts and had a lovely all day party. Husbands did not always appreciate our closeness and it was impossible to get one of us to take sides against the other.
My sisters and I have "hung together" through marriages, births, divorces, illnesses, deaths, good times and bad times. We are still close and as we grow older we become more conscience of how fortunate we are to still have each other. This weekend we will all be together again and with my brother and some cousins and all our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews and grand nieces and grandnephews and many of our childhood friends and neighbors we will celebrate another year of loving one another.
We're back in City Park, which was the scene of many happy days in our childhood. We learned to ride bikes in that park, we swam each summer day in that park, we learned to drive in that park, we went to high school football games in that park and each year we had a huge family picnic in that park. The park is open again and it is our first reunion there after Katrina. We are ecstatic!
So, we'll eat and drink and reminisce and welcome out-of-town cousins and old neighborhood friends and school friends. We'll play horseshoes and badminton and volleyball. We'll listen to the rock and roll of our youth. The kids will ride all the "rides" and once, before we call it a day, my sisters and my brother will walk over to the carousel house and we will all ride the "flying horses" together and there will be laughter through tears of joy that we are all still together and enjoying our lives. We'll remember our grandfather, who always stood next to the brass ring pole and watched us go round and round trying to get the brass ring. We'll remember pleading to ride one more time and having our pleas acknowledged and being granted "just one more ride." We'll remember our parents and how proud they were of all of us. We'll each say a prayer of thanksgiving that we have been the beneficiaries of an old and traditional New Orleans family.
March 28 Partying Like A Rock Star"Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich."
-Sarah Bernhardt
I'm back in Salt Lake City after spending two weeks in New Orleans. We arrived on a Wednesday and began the party with oysters, shrimp and crawfish at Bozo's, our favorite oyster restaurant. Much to my surprise Bozo's had boiled crawfish that day. March is the high point of the crawfish season in Louisiana. The tiny, delicious crustaceans become plentiful during the Spring of the year and while the temps were in the mid seventies, March is considered Spring in New Orleans. The crawfish were warm, which is the best way to eat them. Most of the time they are cold and they are good cold also, but juicier when warm. The beginning of the season is optimum because the shells are not hardened yet so it is easier to get to the meat. Bozo's was just the first of my crawfish eating on this trip. Traditionally crawfish is boiled and eaten on the day of the St Patrick's Day Parade - if you live near the parade route and host an open house for family and friends - crawfish are boiled and eaten by some families on Good Friday and crawfish are boiled and eaten on Easter Sunday by many. My family is of the Easter Sunday boiling and eating tradition. The men in our family are proud of their crawfish cooking talent. There is stiff competition for the title of "best" in our family. It is no easy task to get it right. The seasoning must be perfect - not too spicy, but spicy enough. The crawfish must stop cooking at just the right time - this involves pouring the right amount of cold water into the boiling pot so cooking stops abruptly and they must "sit" for just the correct amount of time. Right now, our family's best crawfish cooker is my sister's oldest son-in-law, Brian. Thanks Brian - they were perfect!
In addition to Bozo's, we ate at Johnny Trauth's, a wonderful neighborhood restaurant in Kenner. We made the pilgrimage to the Gumbo Shop on St Peter Street in the Vieux Carre. We visited not just one coffee/beignet establishment, yes, we went to both Morning Call and Cafe du Monde. There is always the argument about which of these ancient coffee houses are best - who has the best cafe au lait and who has the best beignets. The argument is never resolved and we continue to try both in an effort to find the best and the contest has been going on in New Orleans for many, many years, but that is how we like it. We like the contest and do not care about the results. We ate at Mandina's on Canal Street twice because that is one of my favorite restaurants in New Orleans and is not touristy. We also managed to squeeze in a meal at Cafe Degas on the day we visited the Art Museum in City Park.
A good amount of time was dedicated to shopping for just the right "stuff" to throw to the adoring crowds and there are many large warehouse type establishments that sell parade throws. We visited and shopped at all of them. We also shopped at all our favorite New Orleans shops and I bought a beautiful cross for Meg, an LSU Championship T-shirt for Frank, the glittsiest T-shirt I could find for Shay, two silver charms for Christy's New Orleans necklace, New Orleans books from the NO Museum of Art. There were four or five movies and ads being shot in New Orleans and we ran into two of them.
The parade was, as always, a grand event. We threw about a thousand pounds of cabbage, several cases of bags of miniature carrots, five or six hundred stuffed animals and hundreds of other "stuff." Who knows how much "stuff" was thrown to the crowd by all the folks on our float - the above numbers were thrown by Rick, Jo and me. All in all, we had a great "ride" and partied like rock stars. March 10 Saints and Indians"The mind ought sometimes to be diverted that it may return better to thinking." -Phaedrus
Most large American cities have a St Patrick's Day Parade. In New Orleans we have three bust-out parades, several large and boisterous "block" parties and on the weekend that follows St Patrick's Day the Irish join forces with the Italians for St Joseph's Day and there are several over-the-top Irish/Italian parades. It is New Orleans - remember - and in New Orleans when three or more folks meet we inevitably have a parade.
It is still Lent and over a month since Mardi Gras and we are tired of the solemnity of sackcloth and ashes. St Patrick's and St Joseph's Days are an opportunity for family and friends to take a break from the repentant nature of Lent and get together and enjoy music, food, drink and the wonderful Spring weather in New Orleans.
The festivities are grand. Men and women in walking groups from various clubs in the city dress in costumes of green and give out flowers and kisses to the fortunate parade goers. Floats number in the hundreds and we all throw cabbages, beads and trinkets to the crowds. Historically the parades' most famous and sought after throws are cabbages and moonpies. All along the five mile parade route one hears, "cabbage, cabbage, throw me a cabbage!" Each person on our float throws eight to ten sacks of cabbages - that amounts to 500 to 700 heads of cabbage per rider.
My favorite part of the parade is the music. There are jazz bands, of course, and marching bands and each float provides its own music via amplifiers. There is dancing and all along the parade route there are individuals who play whatever their instrument happens to be. I'm convinced that every living soul in New Orleans plays a musical instrument.
In addition to all the merriment of the parades and parties there is the splendor and majesty of the Mardi Gras Indians who march on St Joseph's night through the streets of the central city. The Wild Tchoupitoulas and the Wild Magnolia and at least a dozen more spectacularly costumed groups are out parading. These groups have no planned route and you have to keep your eyes open for a gang of beaded and bejeweled "indians" and then just follow them and witness the ritual of song and dance. The "Indians" traditionally take to the streets at sundown. Brass bands and jazz ensembles follow the "Indians" and strains of Professor Longhair's classic Mardi Gras anthem: "Iko, Iko" can be heard and for a New Orleanian like me, there is nothing on earth as comforting as hearing "...Iko, Iko, Iko, iko ah nay."
I'll have a full report with photos when I return in two weeks.
February 27 The Good and the Bad"We're all stumbling towards the light with varying degrees of grace at any given moment."
-Bo Lozoff
In some ways it has been a full and satisfying month. In others, not so much. I spent four days in Portland for the 44th International Women's Conference with thirty-two women from Salt Lake City. Fourteen of us had a job to do and we had a great time doing it. We pre-registered women for the 45th International Women's Conference which Salt Lake City will host in 2009. We also shadowed our counterparts from Portland as they performed their tasks. I love this conference. The International Women's Conference is an annual meeting of women in recovery from addiction. I attended my first conference when I was just one year into recovery. That year the conference was in Atlanta. In 1996 Salt Lake City hosted the conference and I was Outreach Chair. The 1996 conference was a resounding success and it was, for the most part, put on by young women. The host committee chair was only thirty-one and already had ten years of recovery. The most satisfying aspect of working on next year's conference is that most of the women from '96 are still in recovery and are mentors to the next generation of recovering women. Last night we had a meeting of the Program Committe at my house. I fed them lasagna and we spent two hours honing our schedule to get ready for our first deadline which is the end of April. I will have more to say about the IWC in the months to come
On the "not so much" front: I have had a lot of dental work. At my age, with all my teeth intact, it is a constant battle to view the dentist and the work necessary to maintain oral health as a "preventive" measure. It seems that every fifteen or twenty years the dentist and I must "clean house." Caps and crowns must be renewed and peridontal issues addressed. I don't like it, it is sinfully expensive, but I like my teeth and want to keep them, so all this is necessary. The work will be finished soon - before I go to New Orleans next month.
Salt Lake has had good weather for the past ten days. NO SNOW! We've had a lot of rain, but I'm from New Orleans and rain is normal. The temps have been in the mid forties and for me this is life at the optimum. In the "not so much" department, both Shay and Frank have had the flu, one week after the other, and required visits to the pediatrician and several days absence from school. I've been their nurse, which is one of the reasons I decided to share my life with Christy, Shay and Frank. Christy goes to work secure in the comfort of having her sick children cared for by their loving and doting, "Nana."
I'm prepping for the St Patrick's Day parade in New Orleans. We leave on the March 11th. My art partner will drive in on the 10th and we'll fly to New Orleans together. Rick will drive to New Orleans from Atlanta. He'll ride in the parade with us, but only stay for the weekend. Jo and I will stay two weeks. My sister, Jackie, is looking forward to two weeks of sightseeing and eating with us. New Orleanians love showing off their city to first time visitors. I've already alerted friends, so it will be a giant reunion on many levels for sisters, friends and Jo. As for the "not so much," it is that loathsome time of the year - income tax time - and I must get all my "stuff" to the accountant before I leave for New Orleans. The bright side is that when it is finished one doesn't have to worry about it for another year!
So, despite the "not so much," life is good!
February 07 Back In The Klondike and a Manifesto"In life, as in the dance, grace glides on blistered feet." -Alice Abrams
I returned to Salt Lake City on Tuesday. Tuesday was my only window of opportunity for snowless driving through some high country in southern Utah. On Wednesday it snowed several inches and I was acutely aware that I was back in the Klondike. The weather in Nevada was warm, mostly in the mid to high fifties, but windy. I hated the wind when I spent winters in Nevada, but it did not bother me this time because it is preferable to snow...snow...snow!
On Monday, sitting in my office in Nevada, I saw some motion outside the french door which opens onto a little used deck. I walked over to the door and could not believe my eyes - there was a mature male peacock walking back and forth across the deck. Fortunately my camera was on my desk and I was able to get a shot of him through the door. He walked off the deck, down three steps to the back yard. I followed him and was able to snap another shot. This is a rural area and we see escaped birds and animals often. We once had a herd of llamas feasting on our front lawn.
Jo and I hung our show on January 31st. The Lost City Museum is such a beautiful venue that our display always looks better there than any other place we show. We had the opportunity to lunch together twice while I was there and I was able to do some work in the house. I will return in May.
The following was sent to me by my friend, Meg. I thought you might enjoy it:
MANIFESTO
I believe that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and that just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe that it is taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe that we should always leave loved ones with loving words.
I believe that we can keep going long after we think we can't.
I believe that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done regardless of the consequences.
I believe that money is a lousy way to keep score.
I believe that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences I have had and what I've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays I've celebrated.
I believe that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves.
I believe that no matter how badly my heart is broken the world doesn't stop for my grief.
I believe that my background and circumstances may have influenced who I am, but I am responsible for who I become.
I believe that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I believe that our lives can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know us.
I believe that even when we think we have no more to give, when a friend cries out to us we'll find the strength to help.
I believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe that the people we care about most in life are taken from us too soon.
I believe that the happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.
Thank you, Meg.
January 29 Warmth"You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way." - Walter C Hagen
I've been warm since Saturday when I drove from Salt Lake City to Nevada. This is the first time I've felt warm since November when I was last here! It is only 30 degrees in the desert this morning, but the sun is shining and there is not one flake of snow. Christy called from SLC yesterday afternoon to tell me that she was preparing to snowblow our driveway and sidewalks to free them of the 8" of snow that fell.
I hate snow and I hate cold! I don't know when this happened. I lived in Salt Lake City from 1988 to 1996 and while my southern body never embraced cold weather and I never felt compelled to be outdoors in winter, I don't remember it being as awful as it seems now. I even spent a winter in Montana sometime during the 90's. Granted, I ventured outdoors to cross-country ski just once and went on one snowmobile trip of fifty miles and never felt tempted to do it again, I did not abhor it and I got through it,
but I cannot abide cold weather anymore!
I was okay until Christmas when we got eighteen inches of snow in just a few days. Since Christmas there has been at least eight to ten inches of snow each week. All I can think about is that while I'm freezing my butt off I have a lovely home sitting empty in Nevada. I had to wait a week until the weather was clear from SLC to Moapa. Because I have to drive through some pretty high country from Utah to Nevada, I must be sure there are no surprises in Bluffdale or Beaver or Cedar City. Saturday was optimum and it was sunny all the way and I'm so grateful to be here! So, I've made a decision to help Christy by getting the kids off to school from September til Christmas, but we'll have to make other arrangements for January and February while I'm basking in the warmth of Nevada and I won't return to SLC until March. I'll finish out this winter when I return to SLC next week, but I don't want to be in SLC next year in January or February.
I had to come to Nevada because Jo and I have a show at Lost City Museum the month of February and we must hang it on Thursday. I have a lot of work to show because I've been painting all winter while trapped indoors! The opportunity to paint is the only benefit I've found from the snow. Actually, I'm aware that the excessive amount of snow is needed as the West has been in a drought since the eighties and I'm happy they are getting it, I just don't want to be in it.
I'm looking forward to March when Jo and I go to New Orleans for two weeks. I've always thought there were two groups of folks not born in New Orleans: those who think we are crazy and that the city is bizarre and those who upon touching down knew that they had been born in the wrong place and that they belonged in New Orleans. Jo is one of the latter. Rick will drive from Atlanta and we will all ride in the St Patrick's day parade with my eccentric family. Neither Rick nor Jo have ridden before and I can't wait for their reaction to the throngs of folks along the parade route begging for cabbages. Last year my sisters and brother and assorted nieces and nephews and cousins threw over 500 pounds of cabbages along the five mile parade route. Jo and I, along with two of my sisters, will also do a lot of sightseeing because there is nothing New Orleanians like better than showing off our city to someone who has never seen it.
Now, however, my task is to get through the remainder of winter.
January 07 Reading New Orleans"I think you go to a lot of cities and people will dress up in the evening to go to a cultural event. In New Orleans you wake up in the morning and you are in a cultural event." -John Scott
Native New Orleanians never "leave" New Orleans. We occupy other cities and our bodies and sometimes our minds reside in the new city, but our hearts and souls remain forever in the most unusual and lovliest city in our country. For example, upon awakening yesterday and noticing that it was January 6th, my first thought was that it was Twelfth Night...the Feast of the Epiphany...Little Christmas...the beginning of the Carnival season. I remembered that last night the Twelfth Night Revelers kicked off another Mardi Gras advent with the first Bal Masque of 2008. New Orleans is always on my mind because New Orleans is in my blood.
Because New Orleans is not at all like any other American city, it's natives are, likewise, "different." If you, by chance, meet one of us you will notice the "difference" immediately. For one thing, we have strange accents. While we live as far south as the Gulf of Mexico will allow and some of us live farther south than that Gulf allows, we do not have "southern" accents. Our accents have a twinge of the eastern seaboard and a little of the Caribbean with lots of French words, local pronunciation and neighborhood patois thrown in. If you want to know what it sounds like, listen to Harry Connick, Jr. Harry has a great New Orleans accent!
Another one of our "differences" is that we don't just love our city - we are absolutely head over heels IN love with our New Orleans and our music and food and literature and cultural melange. It does not bother us too much if you don't like us, but we want you to know what you are NOT liking. We want you to get it right!
It is very difficult to translate New Orleans and it's denizens. One of my pet peeves is media folks who try to do just that after a brief visit. Like the movies, they never get it right. Many writers DID get it right and therein lies the reason for my new book lists. New Orleans has one of the richest literary backgrounds in this country. She has produced several Pulitzer Prize winners and many who were not born in New Orleans, like Tennessee Williams, came to New Orleans to work and produced great literature. Tennessee Williams considered New Orleans his "spiritual" home and said of her, "If I can be said to have a home, it is in the French Quarter, which has provided me with more material than any other part of the country."
Frances Parkinson Keyes spent her winters in her lovely home on Chartres Street: the Beauregard House. Mrs Keyes completed "Dinner at Antoine's" and "The Blue Camellia" in that house. A friend of mine rented the slave quarter of the house from Mrs Keyes during the sixties and I met the author when she was old and sickly. The house is now open to the public and is worth a visit.
Truman Capote lived in the French Quarter when, as a young man of twenty-four, he wrote "Other Voices, Other Rooms." During the seventies Capote could be spotted often on the streets of the French Quarter partying with his friends.
William Faulkner lived in Pirates' Alley and completed "Soldier's Pay" and "Mosquitos" there. The house is a bookstore now and is named for Faulkner. The bookstore is owned by a writer and hosts "Words and Music: A Literary Feast in New Orleans." The Faulkner Festival is part musical extravaganza, part writers' conference and part celebration of Faulkner's contributions to Literature.
Hart Crane, Robert Penn Warren, Thornton Wilder, Ezra Pound, Sherwood Anderson, Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, Frances Parkinson Keyes, William Faulkner, George Washington Cable, Lefcadio Hearn, Mark Twain, Kate Chopin, Patty Friedmann, Ellen Gilchrist, Shirley Ann Grau, John Kennedy Toole, Anne Rice, Robert Smallwood, Tom Piazza, Chris Rose, Lillian Hellman, Walker Percy and many more lived and wrote in New Orleans and they all got it right!
December 28 Abundance"You see things and you say 'Why?' but I dream things that never were and I say 'Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw
This was a wonderful Christmas for my family. Christy, Rick and I were together for the first time in almost twenty years. We have spent Christmases together during that period, but never all three of us at the same time. It was fun! Rick was able to stay for five days and Christy had her school's Christmas break. Shay and Frank were in Minnesota with their Dad. Christy, Rick and I went shopping together and out to some of our favorite restaurants. On Christmas Day I cooked a roast of beef with potatoes, carrots, onions and gravy. Rick, who lives in Atlanta had his very first "white" Christmas. He plowed a lot of snow and while he thought it was beautiful, he was happy that he did not have to live in it.
As I was surrounded by family and friends and as I spoke by phone to all my sisters and my brother and myriad cousins and some members of Dean's family, it occured to me that one of the gifts my parents were able to give us was the wonderful feeling of abundance - that not only is there enough for us in life, but that there is so much that we can share it - we can give it away without fear that we won't get more.
Abundance is what makes my life so fulfilling! Abundance allows me to see endless choices, opportunities and chances. There is always another day and another way. Abundance allows me to face the world from a position of strength rather than weakness. Abundance allows me to focus on love and goodness rather than fear.
How did my parents do it? Well, it helped that their parents taught them that the world, despite it's vagaries, is a wonderful place filled with "good stuff" for us to use and enjoy and share and that the supply of "good stuff" is endless. I can remember my beautiful grandmother saying, "...what you cannot cure you must endure and as long as you MUST you may as well do it with grace." My siblings and I use my grandmother's words as our family motto. So, actually, my parents simply passed on what their parents gave them. I suppose this has been going on for many generations because I can't remember one "naysayer" on my Mom's side of the family. My Dad's side of the family is another story, but we were raised in the bosom of my Mom's family and saw my Dad's family only on rather formal occasions like graduations, weddings, funerals and cursoryvisits during the holidays.
In my family abundance means we have endless opportunities for fun, humor and adventure and a deep enjoyment of all our members and that there will always be more of everything and that we will always be there for one another - no matter what! Most importantly, it means that there is always, ALWAYS another chance.
December 09 My Christmas Letter"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." - Dr. H. Witte
My annual Christmas letter is finished and will be in the mail tomorrow. I would like to share it with you!
Dear Friends,
I've always loved the Muppets. I think there is deep philosophical wisdom in Kermit the Frog's lament, "It's not easy being green." Being green is probably no harder than being a frog, Kermit! It's not easy being a human being either! That's why I ask for courage each morning before my feet hit the floor. Fortunately, I'm given a new batch of courage daily.
It took courage to live this first year without Dean. It took courage to buy another house when I already had two. It took courage to invite Christy, Shay and Frank to share my home and my life. It takes courage to live with an eight year old and a nine year old for the first time in more than thirty years.
It takes courage to build a new life when the old life was wonderful and I would continue to live it if I could. It takes courage to seek help to learn to live solo. It takes courage to watch my friends with their partners when mine is gone. It takes courage to seek purpose. It takes courage to seek happiness. It takes courage to rebuild. It takes courage to say "yes" to life!
What would I do without courage? I don't know! I do know that without courage I would not have traveled as extensively this year to visit family and friends. Without courage I could not have fulfilled my commitment to a month long showing of my watercolors at Valley of Fire in February. Without courage I could not have hosted twenty-two houseguests for a summer memorial service for Dean. Without courage I would not have taken my grandchildren to New Oleans to play. Without courage I would not have filled my year with family and friends, Disney cruises, organizations, art shows, board meetings, book sales, dinner parties, shopping, decorating, painting, cooking and reading. Without courage I could have done nothing!
Without the grace of courage, which is given to me in abundance each day, I would not be looking forward to the future. In April we will be back in City Park in New Orleans for our annual family reunion and we will all take a turn riding the "flying horses" as we did when we were children and with courage we will rejoice that our beloved New Orleans is returning slowly but surely. We will rejoice in the way New Orleanians always do things - on their own terms - in their own time - with courage.
With deep gratitude for all that I received this year, I wish you courage in 2008. I hope you ask for and receive the courage to live life to the fullest!
Love,
Betty
November 29 The Season Is Upon Us!"Do all the good you can by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can." -John Wesley
The Christmas Season has "officially" begun in Salt Lake City. The day after Thanksgiving we attended the annual performance of Manheim Steamroller at the eCenter in West Valley. Salt Lake sells out all major entertainment all the time. These folks love to be entertained. They especially love Manhaim Steamroller and the Christmas holidays can't begin without them - and I don't blame them. It is a great holiday show.
Shay and Frank returned from their Thanksgiving holiday in Minnesota and it is great to have them back home. We have had our first big snow here - two inches on Wednesday - and the kids are enjoying it. I'm not! I'm just not a cold weather lover and 36 degrees is not my idea of great weather, but because we live in the drought plagued West, we are grateful for as much winter precipitation we can get. The ski resorts needed some snow to begin our ski season and because a good part of our economy here in Utah is dependent on ski tourism: let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
I'm working on my Christmas letter and the menu for our "Creole Christmas Reveillon." I'm also working on decorating our formal living room which needs to be "done" before the Christmas tree goes up. I love decorating so it is a chore I'm truly enjoying.
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